I have news: Gay people are people too.
I’ll let that sink in for a moment.
I’m swimming in joy for my future hipsterdom. Why? I am moving to a place where my vote will actually count. I will be among like-minded people who understand that basic human rights have nothing to do with who’s junk fits inside who’s. I will live in a place where love is all-encompassing and people can hold hands with whoever they want to without fear of any consequence, whether it be sneering or shooting.
I am proud of my president for doing what is right- standing up for the little guy. The constitution exists to protect human rights. And if there is anyone who needs standing up for, it’s the minority groups. If not, we’d be using it to make sure that white people were still allowed to live in suburbs and eat Doritos. Snoozeville.
The best part of this? Not only is he the first black president, he’s the first gay-friendly president. DOUBLE WHAMMY. Your history books won’t even be able to handle all this alternative lifestyle fierceness. I can’t wait for the first female president who has 3 legs and is a former stripper.