Well… here we are again. I am moving, and I’ve decided to chronicle my adventures again. Although this time, instead of taking 365 pictures and posting them on facebook for everyone to ignore, I’ve decided to return to one of my long-lost loves. I blogged recklessly in the past (i.e. high school) so it only makes sense to do something just as dumb now.
So here’s the sitch. I’m moving to Portland, Oregon in less than a month. Instead of doing things like “packing” or “finding a job” I’m spending my last 30 days in KY soaking in the friendship times I have. However, I have been secretly prepping myself.
Before I moved to good ol Lexington, I had an inkling that this place was 50% horses, 50% bourbon. I was COMPLETELY correct. So the transitive property tells me (as well as the brief period of time I spent in Portland 5 years ago) that Oregon is going to consist of the following:
- Organic soap
- Black plastic framed glasses without real lenses in them
- Vegan cheese
- Judgmental street performers
Am I afraid of these things? FUCK NO.
Am I afraid that I’m wandering into a world that I know literally nothing about but just assume is going to be awesome based on hearsay and Fred Armisen? Maybe.
The things I have done so far to prepare for my trip include:
- Purchased lots of new shirts, because god knows I need more shit to pack
- Bought a plane ticket
- Realized I own too much crap
- Made a list of places I want to work
- Bought 6 fascinators so they accept me as “one of us”
- Got a pixie haircut
- Bought a groupon for a vegan food truck
Things I need to do before I move:
- Find a job
- Find a duffel bag to ship aforementioned “too-much-shit”
- Get rid of all this shit I own
- Never say “y’all” ever again ever
- Mail all my board games to myself because yes I have this problem
- Tell my mother I’m moving to Oregon
The plan is to document my descent into hipster madness. And I will be unabashedly honest, because… well… that’s how they do. Right? Oh Jesus.